"One act of beneficence, one act of real usefulness, is worth all the abstract sentiment in the world."
So...exciting news. Based on the suggestion of a friend and coworker I have decided to volunteer for Harbor Hospice of Austin. Essentially, I will be meeting with terminally ill patients who have only a few days, weeks or months left to live and providing companionship to them by talking with them, reading to them and generally just helping them be comfortable as they live out their last days. I'm super scared and excited. I'm scared because this is a very powerful thing to be seeing a person pass away but I am very excited because I know in my heart that I have many good qualities and if I can help one person feel like they are not alone at the end, then it will all be worth it. The nurse who spoke to us today said he often goes home and cries when a patient passes away because you allow yourself to get close with them. The thought of that is very humbling.
http://www.harborhospice.com/
I have also decided to look into group 'divorce' therapy as an outlet to work through my feelings in a supportive and constructive manner rather than a destructive way. One thing I talked about in training tonight was how I felt like I had to be very strong for everyone else when Troy passed away. In doing so, I think I failed to realize how helpful it could have been to lean on others more. I've made it a goal to look to people who can empathize with what I am going through and hopefully provide good insight on how to deal with all my feelings in a productive manner. I think that just sitting down with strangers who are hurt like I am and communicating my thoughts with them will be very healthy.
Thanks to everyone for the continued support and kind words. It means more to me than you will ever know.
Justin
So much in today's society men are thought to need to withold their feelings and emotions. Let too much out and you're considered weak. I think that the ways you are choosing to work through these really tough times are great! Coming from a person who has been through MANY therapist (I'm not crazy, I just had lots of times where I needed help and wasn't afraid to ask for it) I see the benefits in writing and talking through your emotions. Good luck in your upcoming sessions. It is sure to help you become a stronger, more beautiful person then you already are! BUT, if you ever just need to have a beer and a chat, you know have plenty of friends around for that!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to open up to others and allow yourself to lean on them. I still struggle with that now. However, I do find it easier to lean on people who have gone through similar trials. It's really hard to articulate what you're saying sometimes, and people in similar situations can just understand it without any explanation.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you do, just try to talk it out (words of advice I still have a hard time following!). Good luck :)
Thanks for the comments! It's not easy and I still constantly catch myself trying to take it all on myself. It's been very helpful to be able to reach out to friends, family and coworkers to talk through everything rather than keep it all bottled up. I always feel 10x better when I do. :)
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