Why I run....

Why I run....

I've been thinking for a long time about writing a new post to opine on where I'm at currently which, to put it simply, is the best place I've ever been in my life.  As most of you know, I'm half way through training for my first marathon in December with two more to follow in Austin and Vancouver.  Even typing that is odd when placed within the context of where I started.  I'm happier and more proud of myself than I have ever been.  I never thought I would be here even though I always dreamed about it...This coming Saturday I will be running 16 miles with my running group and I will cherish every single minute of it.  Indulge me for a bit while I free flow a seemingly random string of thoughts as to why I run and what I am grateful for...

I'm in the middle of a journey that I never knew I could take because I was scared to take the first step.

I'm in the best shape of my life.

My friends and family are proud of me.

I don't have anxiety anymore.

I've met some amazing friends along the way who share my passion rather than mock me like people who I assumed were my friends before.

I tear up when thinking about seeing my mom at the finish line December 9th in Dallas after my first 26.2.

I run for my best friend Troy who passed away in 2006.  There hasn't been a run yet where his memory hasn't helped me push myself to keep going.

My dad is proud of me.

I can finally call myself a runner, not just a guy who runs.

I appreciate those who set a difficult goal and set out attaining it. Before this, I would set a goal and casually toss it aside when it was no longer comfortable.  Screw that.

If nothing else, I hope the fact that I am taking this journey might inspire someone else to have the courage to look at theirself in the mirror and commit to making that change they have been putting off forever, setting that goal and reaching it, choosing the path of more resistance or striving to get out of that rut.  I hope this post doesn't come across as bragging because that is nt my intent at all.

I was once told I would never be a man.  I am proud to say that I stand here today a man that I am very proud of and someone that I hope my friends and family are proud to know.  

Boom.

JM

Yesh!

Ran over a 5k tonight with no stops and felt like I could have gone another mile at least which makes me feel great about the upcoming runs I have in preparation for a 10k. I've decided my ultimate goal is a half marathon so we'll see how that goes. I've felt great at work and outside of it as well...Things are going much, much better.

It's funny how some simple life changes and a little bit of willpower can do that.

Goodnight all...

Things that feel amazing...

“To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift”

Going on my 3rd week of no drinks from during the work week (Sunday - Thursday) along with running four days per week and going to bed by ten. I feel pretty damn good. Work has been going great and overall I've seen a huge uptick in my energy which has allowed me to kick ass in most areas of my life.

It was nice to step back tonight and just see how the changes I have made in those areas have really had a positive affect on my overall well being; crazy how that works, huh? :) I have a 5k coming up in a few weeks and plan to sign up for a few more along with a 10k. Ultimate goal is to run a half-marathon in the next year which would be a pretty far step from where I started but it's something I know I can do.

Well, I am off to bed, hope everyone has a great evening and rest of the week!

Justin

Eh, who knows?

"You played a hand and you lost. You lost a big fuckin' hand and some people lose a big hand like that and have the sack to ante up again."

Quote from my favorite movie which has represented my state of mind of late where the two main characters talk about having the courage to risk and lose what they put out there with regards to relationships and still have the courage to do it again.

I truly cared for a girl I was recently with and let it slip away multiple times due to my own fear of getting hurt/commitment and just plain stupidity. It was a pretty bad feeling being faced with the reality but it was one I deserved and brought on myself. I really feel in my heart that we would have a great future together had the timing been better right now but that's what life is sometimes and you just take the good with the bad and learn from your mistakes. I told her how I felt and I will be happy knowing I didn't leave anything on the table.

The great thing with this experience has been the fact that I know I can have these feelings for someone after everything I went through last year which gives me a lot to look forward to in the future.

Anyways, enough with the rambling it just felt good to get my feelings out.

"Laissez les bons temps rouler!"

Going to try something new...

Here is the newest and most radical thought I have ever come up with on this blog. I am going to start trusting people in relationships. I don't know why this light came on all of a sudden but it's something I have to do. Call it growing up, call it afraid of being alone, but I know I can't keep pushing away people because I am scared of what I might say or who they might see.

"Trust is a funny thing,
never know what it can bring,
but it sure can cause you pain.
I’ve been hurt a time or two,
baby I know so have you
so lets put the past away.
And give this everything we’ve got..."

Just hope it's not too late for me!

Hi

Just a new post to say hello to all my friends out there. I'm working on planning a trip to Costa Rica this summer for the hell of it. Why not?

Hope all is well! I am working on the mother of all update blog posts from the past three months as it is very therapeutic to sit back, relax and just put some thoughts down on paper so stay tuned.

Love!

Justin

Am happy...

Hello to anyone who is still out there...I am writing this really for myself more than anything at this point.

I officially closed on the re-finance of my house a few minutes ago as the sole owner!!!!! Words really can't describe how I feel right now. I am so amazingly happy with how things in my life have turned out. Looking back, I feel so truly blessed to have gone through the tough times that I did because so much good has come out of it.

On March 19th, I wrote the following:

"Right now, I seem to be in limbo, stuck desperately wanting to move forward, but very much mired in the little things that I still have to somehow clean up from what went wrong. It's crazy how swinging by a place that was your home a week ago to get a coat can trigger such a wave of emotion and seemingly throw you right back into a place you refuse to let yourself go. No one said this would be easy I suppose.

In moments like these you want to make your situation the cataclysmic event of world history because it feels so consuming...One thing that has helped me is to take a step back, look at the lives of my friends and families. I can always point out moments in their lives where their situation must of felt as sad and overwhelming as mine. From there I look at how amazing their lives have turned out in the present tense and feel a great deal of motivation and a sense of duty to keep my head up and push through this until I get to the good point I know is waiting for me."

I'm at that good point and so amazingly lucky....

"It's been a brilliant journey of self-awakening."

Thanks to everyone out there for the thoughts, kind words of encouragement and friendship; I love you all.

Justin